Friends
by Lady Morgan of Sealand
Summary: When things never go your way, you can always count on your friends to pull you through. SalQueen Emilesco, Malley, Chiria, and many others! Rated T for adult references and cursing. Based on the hit show FRIENDS.
1. TOW Maria Gets a Roommate Part 1

Welcome to newest story! Based around the fabulous show that is _FRIENDS_ that lasted from 1994 to 2004! Now, if you are like Mere and Pancake who haven't seen _ANY_ episodes, I suggest you go on YouTube and look up some clips. It's the best show in the world!

So, the guys will not be racecar drivers. Sorry, but it would be really hard to work with the plot if it was like that, but I promise that they will race in the near future! Now for some background info on our main characters.

Full Summary: Thorough everything that Life may throw at you, weather it be divorce, marriage, unplanned pregnancies, marriage, divorce, break ups, heart breaks, marriage, divorce, marriage, adoption, teenagers, first kiss secrets, sneaking around over protective brothers, **(and yes, I know I repeated some things multiple times. One character does not have it easy with being married 4 times and being divorced three times) **and anything else life will throw at you. You can always count on your friends to make it better. They will always be there for you.

* * *

Character Profiles!

**Lightning McQueen**, son of Lawrence and Lizia McQueen. Lightning is the extremely geeky character who tends to be melodramatic at times and is the wet towel of the group but when he does have something funny to say, it's usually pretty good. (He resembles Ross from the show.)

**Thunder McQueen**, daughter of Lawrence and Lizia McQueen. Thunder is the twin sister to Lightning. She is also the best friend of Sally and Maria. She is exactly like her brother, only less geeky. She has OCD and freaks out over the slightest thing. (She resembles Monica from the show.)

**Trent Carrera**, son of Luke and Ba Nee Carrera. Trent is of Vietnamese decent. He always acts before he speaks and always ends up sticking his foot in his mouth. (He is his own character.)

**Sally Carrera**, daughter of Strip and Lynda Weathers. She has a twin sister and tends to stretch the truth about things, like how they were NOT on a break. (Reference to a future chapter.) She and her sister took her mother's maiden name so as to not be known as the Weather Twins. (She resembles Rachel from the show)

**Maria Carrera**, daughter of Strip and Lynda Weathers. She is cool, calm, and collective, and is always available as a shoulder to cry on. (She resembles Monica from the show)

**Chick Hicks**, son of Rick and Carlley Hicks. Unlike most of his mother's marriages, Rick and Carlley's lasted very long and they are still married. He tends to have gay moments and his friends like to take advantage that his name is Chick. He is very over protective of his sister and ends up chasing Mater down the street when he found out that they were together. (Resembles a mix of Chandler and Phoebe from the show but he shares plot lines with Ross.)

**Holley Shiftwell**, daughter of Howard and Carlley Shiftwell. As Chick's older half sister, Holley is strong willed and not easy to manipulate. She is quick to formulate plans. She grew up in the Hicks household with her brother other brother Finn. She is older than Chick by five years, but younger than Finn by 10. She became a secret agent with Finn but retired when she became pregnant with Molley and Danney. (Her personality is all her own but she shares some plot lines with Monica.)

**Finn McMissile Jr.**, son of Finn and Carrley McMissile. As a secret agent, he spends a lot of his time on missions, but when he does have time to visit his step brother and his friends, you can bet things are gonna get pretty funny and messed up. He is 10 years older than Holley and 15 years older than Chick.

**Emily Turbo**, daughter of Steveno and Katherina Turbo. She is emotional and sometimes distraught. She grew up with the Carrera twins, Lightning, Mater, Chick, and Francesco. (She is a mix of Rachel and Phoebe from the show with a bit of Chandler in her.)

**Tiln Mater Jr**, son of Tiln and Taylor Mater. Mater is a carefree person and dose what he pleases. Even though he had to grow up faster than his friends when he became a father at the age of 19. (His personality is all his own.)

**Taylor Mater II**, daughter of Tiln Mater Jr. and Mildred Rivera. She is but a teenager when she enters the New York scene, living at her Father's apartment that's right next door to her honorary family. Taylor works as a musical entertainer and usually performs at Central Perk and other places. She shares a close relationship to Vera Red, her manager. (She is a character all her own but has plot lines similar to Phoebe)

**Mildred Rivera, **daughter of Ramone and Flo Rivera She left town after giving birth to her daughter, she will make appearances in the story once Taylor becomes a common character.

**Vera Red**, Family is apparently unknown. She is of Hispanic decent and Taylor looks up to her as the mother she never had. Vera is a successful recording contractor and signs Taylor a contract.

**Francesco Bernoulli**, son of Francis and Francesca Bernoulli. He is a ladies man and is very over protective of his sisters, and often sleeps a lot with women. He turns on his Italian accent as a way to seduce women. (His personality is all of Joey's, who is the resident Italian on the show.)

**Drake Tyler,** Owner of the Central Perk, he holds a huge crush on Sally and worships the ground she walks on. He would do anything just for Sally to appreciate him, including hiring her friend when she needed a job. He holds a strong dislike for Lightning and often serves him sabotaged coffee.

**Miles Axelrod**, He was engaged to Emily Turbo. He makes a few appearances in the story. (Resembles Barry from the show)

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that you recognize! Maria Carrera is the property of MereMcQueen314 and Emily Turbo is property of Pancake3298. I only the minor characters that make appearances though out the story!**

Words: 5,600

* * *

TIME FOR THE INTRO SONG!

_So no one told you life was going to be this way. _

_Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA. _

_It's like you're always stuck in second gear, _

_Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year._

_But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour. _

_I'll be there for you, like I've been there before. _

_I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too._

_You're still in bed at ten, the work began at eight. _

_You've burned your breakfast, so far, things are going great. _

_Your mother warned you there'd be days like these, _

_But she didn't tell you when the world has brought you down to your knees._

_That, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour._

_I'll be there for you, like I've been there before. _

_I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too. _

_No one could ever know me, no one could ever see me._

_Seems like you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me. _

_Someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with, _

_Someone I'll always laugh with, even at my worst, I'm best with you._

_It's like you're always stuck in second gear, _

_Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year. _

_But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour. _

_I'll be there for you, like I've been there before. _

_I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too._

* * *

In the bustling city that was New York, there was a coffee shop that was known as Central Perk. It was the best place to get together with friends and to drink some of the best coffee this side of the City.

Inside the coffee shop, there was a plush red couch surrounded by two brown chairs with a large coffee table in the middle.

Sitting on the couch was Chick Hicks, Maria Carrera, and Sally Carrera. Sitting in the chair closest to the wall, was Francesco Bernoulli, their suave Italian friend.

The friends were currently in a heated discussion.

"There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy that I work with!" Maria was saying to her friends.

"That's what I said when I started going out with Kiel."**(pronounced Kyle) **Said Sally as she took a sip of her coffee, "When we broke up, Drake ended up firing him because he kept creeping on me at work." She said, just as Drake came up to her.

"Sally, you're here to work, not to sit and talk with your friends." Drake said starring at Sally as if she was Aphrodite.

"I know, but I'm on my break. Besides, Mindy is doing a great job on her own." She said, motioning to the short brunette waitress with blue eyes who clearly looked overworked.

"You're right, just don't make your break too long, Sal." Drake said before patting her shoulder and heading back to the counter to man the register.

"Didn't you break up with him yesterday?" Maria asked her sister once Drake left.

"Yea, you're point?" Sally asked as her sister just stared at her.

Francesco interrupted, "C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!" Francesco exclaimed to his friend.

"So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?" Chick asked, causing his friends to look at him weirdly.

"Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people who are friends going out to dinner and not having sex." Maria said to everyone, looking at her sister for help.

"Sounds like a date to me." Chick said as he bit into a chocolate chip cookie.

"Guys, give her a break." Sally said, finally caving into her sister's glare.

* * *

"Alright, so I'm back in High School, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked." Chick said to his friends. The same thing on everyone's mind, _How in the hell did we get to this topic?_

They all stared at Chick for two seconds before Francesco spoke.

"Oh, yeah. I had that dream." he said.

"Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there." Chick said, drifting off and staring at his friends.

Francesco, being the first to catch on, spoke, "Instead of...?" he said, not knowing how to carry on with the sentence.

"That's right." Chick said, praising his Italian friend.

"Never had that dream." Francesco said, taking a bite out of Chick's cookie.

"Dude! That's my cookie!" Chick said, trying to make a grab for the double chocolate chip cookie. Francesco smiled and licked the base of the cookie.

"Here you go, Chick." He said, handing the cookie back to him.

"Thanks, bro." Chick said before taking a bite out of it.

"EW!" The two girls exclaimed, with horrified expressions on their face.

"That's just gross, man." Francesco said as Chick continued to eat his cookie with a shrug of his shoulders.

"A cookie is a cookie." Chick said.

"Anyways," Chick continued on while eating the cookie. "All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. And it turns out it's my mother, which is very weird, because-" Chick finished chewing his cookie before continuing on with his sentence, "she never calls me!" he exclaimed.

Before anyone could get a word in, Lightning entered the coffee shop. His plain red tee was in a mess and his hair looked like it hadn't been combed in days. His eyes were bloodshot and he was wearing two different coloured shoes.

Lightning approached his friends and plopped down on the empty chair next to Sally, "Hi." He said in a monotone voice as his eyes drooped to the floor.

"This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself." Francesco said, gesturing to Lightning with his hands.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Sally asked, putting a hand on her friends shoulder.

"I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck..." he said in a depressed tone.

"Cookie?" Chick asked, reaching over the two girls and presenting the half eaten cookie on a plate to Lightning.

Lightning gave him a look and cringed, "Nah, no thanks, bro." Lightning said as Chick took back the cookie and ate it.

Sally turned towards their friends, "Carla moved her stuff out today." She explained to them. Sally looked towards her friend, "Let me get you some coffee." She said as she got up and went to the counter.

Chick began blowing cool air and snapping in front of Lightning's face.

"No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura!" He yelled at Chick, who shrugged at the technique he was taught from his parents. "No, just leave my aura alone, okay? I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy in her life."

"No you don't." Sally said, returning from her coffee run and presenting Lightning with his favorite drink, a French Vanilla coffee.

"No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!" Lightning said, his voice cracking as he took a sip out of his coffee and quickly placed it down.

"Ow, ow, ow, hot, hot, hot, hot!" Lightning said as he stuck his tongue out and waved his hands to cool it off. "Curse my super taster abilities." He declared

"And you never knew she was a lesbian..." Francesco said, trying to have his friend see the bright side of this dim topic.

"No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, so how should I have know?" Lightning said, his voice raising a bit as he continued waving his hands to cool off his tongue.

"Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian..." Chick sighed, as everyone looked at him. "Did I just say that out loud?" he questioned his friends.

"Yea, _Chick_, you did." Maria said, causing everyone to burst out laughing.

"Well, _Chick_, I would hope you would be a lesbian, then maybe you could get a date with an actual chick." Francesco said as Maria chuckled.

"Okay. Okay, laugh it up why don't you?" Chick said, crossing his arms and turning his head away from his friends.

"Looks like Chick has his monthly visitor." Sally chuckled.

"Yea, right along with you and your sister." Chick snapped back.

Francesco, not wanting to see the furry of the Carrera twins to be unleashed, changed the subject back to Lightning. "Alright Lightning, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?

Lightning threw his hands up in the air, "What, Francesco?" Lightning asked. "Enlighten me!"

"Strip joint!" Francesco said, "C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!"

"I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!" Lightning said, throwing his hands out in exasperation, looking at the door in hopes that he would some how be married again.

Just then, a woman wearing a wedding dress ran into the coffee shop and quickly looked around. She had wavy brown-bronze hair and aqua coloured eyes.

"And I just want a million dollars!" Chick exclaimed, looking at the door in hopes that a million dollars will come strolling in and jump into his arms.

"Dude, it doesn't work that way." Said Lightning.

"Emily!?" Francesco said, getting up and walking up to his long term friend.

"Oh God Francesco! Hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are here!" She said in an on sought of emotions as she hugged her childhood friend in a death grip.

"Can I get you some coffee?" Asked Mindy.

"She'll have a De-caff." Francesco said, knowing that when Emily was in this state, the last thing she needed was something that was caffeinated.

"Oh my god, Sally, Maria, Lightning!" Emily said, seeing her old school friends. Sally and Maria launched out of their seats and hugged their old friend. When the twins pulled away, Emily looked at Lightning with worry.

"Hi." Lightning said in a defeated sigh before turning his head away from his High School friend.

Emily gave a look of concern at Lightning, knowing this was completely out of character of him and she turned her attention to the twins, who shook their head, meaning they would explain it to her later.

"Oh, Emily, this is our friend, Chick." Sally said, trying to divert the topics.

Emily gave a smile Chick who was sneaking a cookie from Maria's plate.

"No! Bad Chick, bad!" Maria said as she swatted his hand away from her cookie.

Sally got up and went to sit on Lightning's armrest, her legs crossed and staring at her long time friend. She motioned for her friend to take a seat.

"So," Sally began when Emily was comfortably seated, "you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?" She asked.

"Oh God..." Emily said, rubbing her face with her hands and trying to compose her breathing. "Well, it started about a half an hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden-" But she was interrupted when the waitress came with her coffee.

"Sweet 'n' Lo?" Emily said before continuing on with her conversation.

"I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Miles! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Miles looks like Mr. Potato Head. You know, I mean, he always looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering _Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?_

Emily faced Francesco, her parents had been best friends and he was practically her brother, "So anyway, I just didn't know where to go, and I know that we have kinda drifted apart after high school," She said, now looking at he Carrera twins and Lightning, "but you're the only people I knew who I knew still lived here in the city. I knew where you lived," she said to Francesco, "but not where Maria and Sally were."

"Who wasn't invited to the wedding." Maria said pointedly.

Emily's smile faded, "Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue..."

* * *

After finally leaving Central Perk, the gang wounded up in Maria's Apartment. A Soap Opera was on in the living room while Emily called her father.

"Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it." Maria said, totally engrossed in the television show they were watching.

"Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!" Emily said, arguing against her father. She paced the kitchen, still clad in her elaborate wedding dress.

"Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants." Chick said as he criticized the girl's clothing choice on the TV.

"Yes, because Chick knows all about women's fashion." Sally quipped, making Chick stick out his tongue at her.

"I say push her down the stairs!" Francesco shouted as the two female characters began lashing it out at each other.

The twins, Lightning and Chick looked at each other in a moment of thought before shouting "Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!" They're cries were answered when the other girl pushed her down the stairs, causing the friends to cheer.

Emily sighs, "C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, _You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!_" The gang turned around upon hearing Emily shout that she was a shoe. "And today I just stopped and I said, _What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat!_ No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!" Emily said, rubbing her temples furiously.

"You can see where he'd have trouble." Lightning told her, Emily shot him a glare and he quickly backed away.

"Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Maria.

"Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Maria." Maria said. During the time spent in the coffee house, Maria had told Emily how she and Sally no longer lived together since Sally wanted an apartment closer to Central Perk so that she wouldn't have to wake up so early.

Emily sighed, "Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait! Wait, I said maybe!" Emily said quickly.

* * *

Emily slammed down the phone, breathing heavily.

"I got it." Sally said, getting up from the couch and going to the kitchen to get a brown paper bag and handed it to her friend.

"Just breathe, breathe… That's it. Just try to think of nice calm things..." Maria said as she put a hand on her friends shoulder.

"_Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens_," Chick began singing. He paused for a second as he thought of the lyrics. The guys stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen and sat down at the table. The girls stared at Chick as he began singing again, "_bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la la la..._" The girls blinked at Chick, hoping he was done. When nothing came out of his mouth, Emily spoke.

"I'm all better now."

Chick smiled at the guys, "See! I helped!"

"Yea, by singing a song that chicks sing." Lightning said.

"But don't you remember, Light? He is a Chick!" Francesco said, causing the two boys to crack up.

"Oh why don't you two just get a room all ready." Chick quipped.

"You do know you sang it wrong." Maria said after the boys were done with their teasing, "its _Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens_."

Chick snapped his fingers and smiled, "_Brown paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things!_" Chick sang.

"_Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels. Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles._" Maria sang.

"_Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings. These are a few of my favorite things._"

Chick took the next verse, "_Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,_" he sang, twirling around a support beam.

"_Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes._" Maria said, taping Chicks' nose and eyelashes.

"_Silver white winters that melt into springs._" Chick sang.

"_These are a few of my favorite things!_" The two sang.

"_When Chick is singing, I feel my ears bleeding. I wish right now that I could be sleeping!_" Francesco sang.

"_When your love life's DOA, because your wife's gay._" Lightning sang.

"_When you don't know what to do, so you sing along too._" Emily sang.

"_When all your friends are idiots, and you wish they were robots._" Sally sang.

Then they sang in unison, "_I simply remember my favorite thing. And then I don't feel, so bad!_" the said.

The six friends all looked at each other, "This doesn't live the apartment." Chick said.

"Agreed." They said in unison. Francesco silently pulled out his iPhone and accessed Facebook.

"You putting it on Faebook?" Lightning whispered.

"Technically we're still in the apartment." Francesco said.

"Nice." Lightning said as he high fived his Italian friend.

"You would know the song lyrics, _Maria_." Lightning said trying to divert the attention away from Francesco so he could post in peace.

"Well, I'm not surprised that Chick knew the words. Chicks dig that song." Francesco said as Chick stuck his tongue out.

Sally rolled her eyes and sat next to Emily whose face had turn back to her grim expression that she wore before everyone had started singing, "Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life."

Francesco smiled and walked over the couch where Emily was sitting, "And hey, if-a you ever-a need-a anything, you can-a always come to-a Francesco. Me and Chick live across the hall-a. And-a he's away a lot." He said with a wag of his eyebrows, turning on his Italian accent that he was so skilled at using.

"Bad Francesco! Stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!" Maria scolded the Italian like he was a dog instead of a human, which, if we were to be honest, he was.

"What, is that like a rule or something?" Francesco asked, looking at his friends, who shrugged.

Emily gave a small laugh, "Same old Francesco, I see." She said.

Just then the lobby door buzzed and Chick went over to it. He pushed the talk button.

"Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound." Chick said into the device

"It's, uh, it's Paul." Said the voice, Paul.

"Oh!" Maria exclaimed, "Buzz him in!"

"Who's Paul?" Francesco asked as Chick buzzed him in.

Lightning spoke, "Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?"

Maria adverted her eyes, "Maybe." She said, before making her way towards the door.

She was almost to the door when Francesco stepped into her path, "Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?"

"He finally asked you out?" Lightning asked in an excited tone.

"Yes!" Monica cheered as she death gripped Lightning in a death hug.

"Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment." Chick said in a dreamy voice.

"Then why don't you go across the hall and make an entry in yours." Francesco said.

Maria looked over at Emily, "Emi, wait, I can cancel..." Maria said.

"Please, no, go, I'll be fine!" Emily said with a wave of her hand.

Maria looked towards Lightning, "Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?"

"That'd be good..." Lightning said, his voice high and cracking.

"Really?" Maria asked in a horrified tone. Sally walked over to Lightning slapped the four-eyed ginger's arm. Hard.

Lightning shot her a glare, "No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!" he said in his normal voice. He quickly turned around and gripped his arm. "Ow." He mouthed as he rubbed it.

Emily turned towards Francesco, "I'm confused, does he drink it, sell it, or just complain a lot?" Francesco shrugged his shoulders as everyone lined up in the kitchen to meet Paul the Wine Guy.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Maria walked the five feet towards the door and opened it, revealing Paul.

Paul was a medium height man with slight muscle. He had messy blonde hair and deep blue eyes.

Maria smiled, "Hi, come in! Paul, this is..." Maria said, drifting off, not knowing how to introduce everyone who was standing in a line and just staring at Paul. "Everybody, everybody, this is Paul.

"Hey!" Said Chick.

"Paul!" Said Sally, who had met him before.

"Hi!" Said Lightning.

"The Wine Guy!" Francesco exclaimed.

"Hey!" Said Emily who just looked around after speaking.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?" Lightning said.

Maria stepped aside to let Paul enter, "We have two seconds before it gets crazy." Maria whispered to Paul.

"Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good." Chick said, looking at his hands. He quickly brought his hand down and discarded the eyelashes on to the floor.

"Wow, that is some emergency, Chick. What ever will you do?" Francesco said, causing Chick to glare at him once more.

"Bye guys!" Maria said, quickly exiting her apartment.

Lightning turned towards Emily, "So Emily, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?" he asked her. Sally cocked her head and looked at Lightning, wondering if he was actually trying to make a move on her friend. Well, granted she was his friend too, but she was her friend first. Francesco slowly walked over to her and whispered in her ear.

"I see a little green monster." He said, Sally glared at him and pushed him away. Francesco laughed as he retreated back to his seat. It was no secret that Sally had harbored a small crush on Lightning since they were in High School. Though she knew it was awkward due to the Girl Code: **A girl must never date a girlfriend's brother.** She and her sister had been best friends with Lightning's twin sister, Thunder, who was currently out of town on business.

"Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed to Italy on my honeymoon, so nothing really!" Emily said, giving a sigh.

Lightning nodded his head, "Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God… No, no, although, Italy, this time of year... talk about your…" Lightning sat in thought for a while. "Uh…giant lizards...? Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Francesco, Chick, and Sally are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.

Chick, in a very sarcastic voice, spoke, "Yes, and we're very excited about it." He said.

"Your gonna help them put together furniture?" Emily asked Sally.

"More like babysitting. Don't want any one to break an arm like last time." Sally said, staring at Chick.

"Hey! My hand slipped!" Chick said.

"You were carrying a box of cookies to the dorm room." Lightning said.

"Dude, how did you do that, again?" Francesco asked.

"I don't even remember." Chick said, exasperated, "I think Mater tripped me."

"You guys still keep in contact with Mater?" Emily asked, surprised.

"Yea, he's actually visiting home right now, wanted to see how his daughter was doing." Lightning explained. When Mater was 18, he had gotten his girlfriend, Mildred, pregnant. When Mildred gave birth, she left town. Mater raised their daughter, Taylor, with the help of his parents and Flo and Ramone, Mildred's parents, along with other people who lived in their small town.

"Gosh, I haven't seen Taylor since she was a baby." Emily said having been good friends with Mater.

"She's quite the young lady, beautiful and talented." Chick said.

"She is, she wants to be a singer and she's getting there." Lightning said, selecting a framed photo on the end table and showing the picture of his goddaughter to Emily.

"Wow, she's really grown up. She looks more like her daddy than Mildred." Emily said.

"And that's a good thing. I don't know what Mater would do if Taylor ended up being the spitting image of Mildred." Lightning said.

* * *

Okay! That's all folks I don't want to get to many words in there as we are already over 5 thousand words! I've never done that on the first chapter! I do hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I look foreword to the reviews you will lead me! I hope I made you laugh! I don't want to make it too long for you all, so please drop me a review and tell me what you guys think!

**Outtakes!**

**I originally had Sally be the one who was getting married, but then I thought that the entire gang would have attended the wedding.**

**When I had the idea above, I thought of making Maria and Lightning siblings, but decided instead, to keep him being a twin to his sister, Thunder, who I am still debating weather or not she will make any big appearances besides being mentioned during conversations.**

**While singing My Favorite Things, Emily's original line was "I left my own wedding, plus I hated the plate setting." It was taken out because I didn't feel like it flowed with the song since everyone else's line started with 'When.'**

**As some of you may be wondering, Holley ****_WILL_**** make an appearance in the future. When Mater comes back into the scene, you can bet that Holley will soon to be followed.**

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A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.

**Elbert Hubbard**


	2. TOW Maria Gets a Roommate Part 2

**Thank you all so much for the reviews! They truly made my day to see how funny this was! **

**We come to the second part of the first part of the story! Now, let us get on with the show.**

**I was gonna wait a while for this to get more reviews, but I thought I would post as a 'Get Well Soon' Present for Mere who had surgery today.**

**Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I do not own any characters that belong to Disney and Pixar Studios, MereMcQueen, or Pancake.**

**Words: 5,310**

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"I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little whim guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs." Lightning said as he was squatting in his and Thunder's apartment, reading over the instructions of a Do It Yourself manual. Thunder had agreed to let her brother live in her apartment until he found a place of his own.

Chick and Francesco were currently by the wall, having put together a bookcase of some sorts.

"What's this?" Francesco asked, holding up a part of the bookcase that they didn't use.

Chick took a look at it, "I know what it is." He said.

"And?" Francesco said.

"I have no idea." He said.

"What a great help you are, Chick." Francesco said with a roll of his eyes.

Francesco peaked behind Chick to make sure that Lightning was paying no attention to them before depositing the scarp part in a flower vase.

"Done with the bookcase!" Francesco declared.

"All finished!" Chick declared as Lightning turned around to inspect the bookcase. He nodded before looking at the beer that Chick currently was taking a sip from. Lightning, being a super taster, hated the very taste of alcohol on his tongue since it burned.

"That was Carla's favourite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known." Lightning said as he turned his attention back to the furniture he was working on.

"Lightning," Francesco started, getting up and walking over to his friend, "let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?" he asked.

Lightning looked at Francesco and Chick and gave a weak smile, "You guys."

"Oh, man." Francesco said.

"You got screwed." Chick said.

"Hey, at least you got the kids in the divorce. She just has an empty nest." Francesco said.

"That's supposed to be the up side?" Chick asked, looking at his Italian friend.

"So Dad," Francesco said, putting his arm around Lightning, "Can we go to the zoo?"

"Why? You miss you parents?" Chick asked.

"What are you talking about, bro?" Francesco asked.

"You mean mom and dad never told you that you were adopted?" Chick said with a smirk.

Francesco's jaw opened and he grabbed Lightning by his collar, "Dad! Tell me it's not true!" He asked.

Lightning rolled his eyes and shoved Francesco off of him.

"Hey! That's child abuse!" Francesco accused, pointing his finger at Lightning.

Lightning eyed his friend warily, taking off his glasses and cleaning them with the end of his shirt. He placed them back on gingerly before looking back at the instructions for the desk.

* * *

**~With Maria and Paul the Wine Guy~**

* * *

" Oh my God!" Maria shouted her hand clasped over her mouth and her eyes wide.

"I know, I know, I'm such an idiot." Paul said, "I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?" Paul said as he ran a hand through his blonde hair.

"My friend is going through that right now, he's such a mess." Maria said.

"Which one would that be?" Paul asked.

"The four-eyed ginger." Maria answered.

"I don't think I caught his name." Paul said with a chuckle.

"It's Lightning." Maria informed him.

"Lightning?" Paul asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't ask." Maria said.

"Okay…" Paul said, taking a sip of his wine.

"So how did you get through it?" Maria asked him.

"Well, you might say that I tried to accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her-" he started, but Maria cut in.

"-leg?" Maria asked.

Paul gave a heart laugh, "That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch."

"You actually broke her watch?" Maria asked as Paul nodded.

* * *

**~With Emily and Sally~**

* * *

Emily was currently on the phone, passing frantically back and forth and talking a mile per minute.

"Miles, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju-" Emily stopped talking and looked back at the phone, typing in a number.

"Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway..." Emily said, drifting off as she continued on from her message that she had started twenty calls ago.

Sally sat on the couch, watching her friend as she called her ex-financé for the hundredth million time.

* * *

**~Back with Lightning~**

* * *

"You know what the scariest part is?" Lightning asked, "What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her..." He said as he took a sip from his Diet Coke.

"What are you talking about? 'One woman'?" Francesco said, laughing. "That's like saying there's only one flavour of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Lightning. There are lots of flavours out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with sprinkles, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!" Francesco said, as he grabbed a spoon from a box and thrust it into Lightning's hand.

"I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny." Lightning said, staring at his friend.

"Stay out of my freezer!" Chick shouted.

"Sorry, bud, I'm not like your ex-wife. I don't play for the other flavour." Francesco said as he took a step backwards from his friend.

* * *

**~With Maria and Paul~**

* * *

"Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh..." Paul said, drifting off as he played with noodles on his plate..

"What?... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?" Maria asked.

"No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation." Paul said.

"Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?" Maria asked with a smile.

"Isn't there?" Paul said with a smile.

"Yeah... yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say?" She asked.

"Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform…" he said as Maria took a sip of her wine "...Sexually." he said.

Maria spewed her wine all over Paul. "Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry..." She said as she tried to dab the wine off of his face with her napkin.

"It's okay..." Paul said as he dabbed his shirt.

"Being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long?"

"Two years."

"Wow! I'm glad you smashed her watch!"

"So you still think you, um... might want that fifth date?" Paul asked, wanting to get off of the topic.

"…Yeah. Yeah, I do." Maria said with a smile.

* * *

**~With Emily and Sally~**

* * *

The two girls sat at the couch, Joanie Loves Chachi playing on the TV.

"I, Joanie, take you, Charles, to be my lawful husband."

"Do you take..."

Emily sighed, "Oh...see... but Joanie loved Chachi! That's the difference!" she shouted.

"Emi, do you want to watch something else? I think we have Dirty Dancing. I know how much you like to watch it when your in this kind of mood." Sally suggested.

"No, it's okay. I'm okay." Emi said as she continued to watch the movie.

* * *

**~With Lightning~**

* * *

"Grab a spoon." Lightning mumbled as stared out on the terrace.

"Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words _**'Billy, don't be a hero**_' mean anything to you? _Wow, I've been hanging out with Fillmore too much. _He thought as he made a reference to the anti-war song that was a favourite of Fillmore's. Fillmore was one of Lightning's friends who he knew from his small town.

Lightning released a sigh "Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out... who am I gonna ask?" he thought as his eyes met Sally's, who was currently staring out of Maria's apartment. The two building were right next to each other.

Lightning gave a short wave in her direction. Sally blinked rapidly as she saw Lightning wave at her. She gave a smile and waved back.

"You okay?" Lightning called out to her.

"Yea, I'm fine." Sally said, "It's just a headache."

Lightning nodded his head as they both stared absent mindedly at each other.

* * *

**~The Next Day~**

* * *

Francesco, Lightning and Chick were currently over at Maria's apartment, Emily just having brewed some coffee. Sally had already left for her apartment to get changed and showered for the working day.

"Isn't this amazing?" She said as she poured the two men some coffee. "I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life." She said with a chuckle.

Chick looked down at his mug and back at Emily, "That is amazing."

"Congratulations. And-a while you are on-a roll, if-a you feel-a like-a you got-a make-a like a Western-a omelette o-a something..." Francesco said as Lightning and Chick took a sip of coffee. Lightning, and Chick's eyes went wide and grimaced. Making sure Emily wasn't watching, they quickly emptied it into a nearby flowerpot.

"Although-a actually I'm-a really not-a that hungry..." Francesco said as Emily raised an eyebrow.

"You. Not hungry? If I remember correctly, you beat the school record for the pie eating contest. Your motto was something about how Bernoulli's never get full."

"Pfft. That was-a High-a School. Besides, I'm-a have to keep-a my weight in-a check."

Before Emily could respond, Maria walked out of her room in her robe.

"Morning, guys." Maria said in a happy voice.

"Morning." The three men greeted.

"Good morning, Maria!" Emily said smiling, "Look! I made coffee!" she said, showing Maria the pot. Maria's eyes shifted to the three boys were trying to shake their heads.

"That's great, but I don't drink coffee anymore." She said as Paul walked out of the room.

"Morning."

"Morning, Paul." Chick and Francesco greeted.

"Hello, Paul." Emily said as she poured herself a mug of coffee.

"Hi, Paul, is it?" Lightning said.

"Hi, Lightning, is it?" Paul asked as Lightning laughed.

"I see what you did there." Francesco stated.

"I'll walk you to the door." Maria said as the two walked out into the hall.

"Move!" Lightning whispered as the boys pushed the table closer to the door, bringing their chairs with.

"I had a really great time last night." Maria said.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Paul said with a smile.

"We'll talk later?" Maria asked.

"Yeah." Paul replied, leaning in and giving Maria a kiss. "Thanks." He said before heading for the stairs.

"That wasn't a real date?!" Francesco said, appalled, "What the hell do you do on a real date?"

"Shut up, and put my table back." Maria shouted to the boys.

"Okayyy!" the boys shouted as they quickly moved the table back.

"All right, kids," Chick said, getting up from the chair, "I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers... it doesn't make much of a difference..." he said with a chuckle.

"So, like, you guys all have jobs?" Emily asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff." Maria said.

"Yeah, I'm-a an actor." Francesco said with a grin.

"Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?" She asked.

"I-a doubt it. Mostly-a regional work." Francesco said.

"Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio." Maria said with a girn.

"'Look, Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.'" Chick said as he danced around the kitchen.

"I will not take this abuse!" Francesco said, getting up and walking towards the door.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Chick said as Francesco opened up the door.

"Really, apology accepted, man." Francesco said.

Just then, Chick broke out into a song and danced around "_Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..._"

Francesco narrowed his eyes before walking out the door, Chick behind him.

"So, how are you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Miles? I can't stop smiling." Maria said, babbling.

"I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth." Emily retorted.

"I know, he's just so, so... Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco?" She asked.

"Oh, yeah." She said, recalling an old fling.

"Well, it's like that. But with feelings." Maria said.

"Oh wow. Are you in trouble." Emily said.

"Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day. Or else I'm not gonna get up and go to work."

"Oh, look, wish me luck!" Emily said excitedly.

"What for?" Maria asked her, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm gonna go get one of those job things." Emily said happily.

"Well, good luck with that." Maria said as she exited her apartment.

* * *

**~Maria at Work~**

* * *

Maria was currently at work, punching in sentences at the computer as she talked into her earpiece with the intern that was stationed a few cubicles down. Maria worked as a writer for Vogue Online.

"No, Kurt. Hold that call. Isabelle is still in her meeting." Maria said as she sighed. "Yes, Kurt, I know it is Heidi Klum! Just talk fashion with her! That's what your good at! I don't know, tell her how much you loved her dress at the Emmy's last week. Just make sure she doesn't hang up. I'll have Isabelle pick up the line as soon as she is out of her meeting in…" Maria glanced at the clock and at the time that Isabelle's meeting ran to. "…three minutes. Just stall her! It's not that hard, she's a super model and you're an inspiring Fashion Designer! You two are practically already best friends! Now hold that call!" Maria commanded before ending the call with Kurt.

Usually Maria would be more hostile when talking to the interns. But there were three reasons that she was practically nice to Kurt today.

One, she had sex which placed her in a terrific mood. Two, Kurt was her favourite intern. He reminded Maria so much of herself when she first started out as an intern. And Three, Kurt had just broken up with his high school boyfriend. He was already in a depressed mood and she didn't want to add on to his anxiety.

"Hey, Maria!" Came the voice of her co-worker, Katie, making Maria drift out of her thoughts. Katie was a shortly built women with long blonde hair that was currently held up in a ponytail. Her green glasses were currently resting on the tip of her nose, and her blue eyes were inquisitive as they always were.

"Hey, welcome back! How was Florida?" She asked as she got up from her chair and gave her friend a hug.

Katie raised an eyebrow at her friend. She was never this perky in the morning unless… "You had sex, didn't you?" Katie said, staring down her friend.

"How do you do that?" Maria asked. Katie always knew when she had had sex. It had been a constant mystery to the black haired women.

"So? Who?" Katie asked, not wanting to reveal her secrets.

"You know Paul?" Maria asked her friend.

"Paul the Wine Guy?" She asked as Maria nodded, "Oh yeah, I know Paul."

"You mean you know Paul like I know Paul?" Maria asked, knowing that look in her friends eyes.

"Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years." Katie said, giving a laugh.

"WHAT!" Maria asked as she sat down on the couch that was in her office.

It wasn't until after work that Maria went down to The Central Perk, her friends already there.

"What's wrong?" Lightning asked as his friend took a plump down on their spot in the coffee shop.

Maria sighed and began to explain what had happened at work.

"Of course it was a line!" Francesco said, throwing his hands in the air.

"Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?" Maria asked in hysterics.

"I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'." Lightning said as Maria shot him a glare.

"Is it just me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?" Maria asked as she continued to tap herself. **(I don't want to hear a word out of you! OMG! As I was typing this Little Einsteins said Booby! Hahaha!)**

"All right, c'mere, gimme your feet." Chick said, without waiting for a reply he took her legs and swung them onto his lap. Removing the shoes and socks, he began to message them.

"I just thought he was nice, y'know?" Maria said as Chick began to message her feet.

Francesco moved from his spot on his chair to the armrest that was closest to Maria and burst out laughing, "I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!"

Maria glared at him, then got an evil look in her eye. Before Francesco could react, Maria pushed him off of the arm.

"That is child abuse!" Francesco shouted as he got up and sat back in his chair, pouting.

"Chick, really. Foot message? Only a chick would do that. Oh wait, that's right, you are a Chick." Francesco said with a grin.

"Can it, Franny." Chick retorted.

"Don't call me Franny!" Francesco shouted.

"Then don't call me Chick!" Chick replied.

"Then what do we call you if we can't call you Chick?" Lightning asked.

Before Chick could think of something, Emily walked in carrying shopping bags.

"Guess what?" She said excitedly.

"You got a job?" Lightning asked her.

"Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today." Emily said in a happy tone.

"And yet, you're surprisingly upbeat." Chick said.

"You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!"

"Oh, how well you know me! That's practically a steal!" Chick shouted out with glee.

"Are you sure your straight, Hicks?" Lightning asked as Chick stuck out his tongue.

"It's called sarcasm, Lightning. Maybe you should look it up at some time. You seem to be lacking in that area." Chick retorted.

"And you should just come out of the closet, Lady." Lightning retorted with a smile on his lips.

"My name is Chick! Chick Rick Hicks! _Not Lady_." Chick retorted.

"But you told us not to call you Chick. So another name for a chick is Lady." Lightning said, enjoying the upper hand he held against his friend. "Unless you want us to call you Rhyme." Lightning said.

"You think you're so funny." Chick said, still messaging Maria's feet.

"Girls, girls. You're both pretty." Maria said, getting tired of the two quarreling boys.

"So, why did you buy shoes in the first place?" Asked Sally who had had just gotten off of her shift and had heard the conversation.

"They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!" She said in an excited tone.

"How'd you pay for them?" Maria asked with a smirk on her face.

"Uh, credit card." Emily said in blank tone.

"And who pays for that?" Sally continued on.

"Um... my... father." She said in a defeated tone.

"Come on." Maria said as she grabbed her friends elbow. "Sally, take the boots." Maria commanded to her sister.

"Where are we going?" Emily asked as she was towed out of the coffee shop.

"We're gonna go cut up your credit cards." Maria said.

* * *

**~In Maria and Emily's apartment~**

* * *

The gang stood around Emily, who sat at a chair in front of a credit card filled table, a pair of scissors in her hand.

"C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life." Maria said as she put a hand on her friends shoulder.

"I know that." Emily retorted, "That's why I was getting married." She said with dignity.

"Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time." Chick said.

"Thank you." Emily said.

"Your welcome. When I first moved to the city I thought I could make it on my own without the guys. Ended up in a Chinese hotel with a bunch of chicks calling me Big Boy."

The gang looked at Chick in awe. Wondering what the heck he did when they first moved into the city.

"How stoned were you that you had multiple you's calling you Big Boy?" Francesco asked.

Chick gave a sarcastic laugh, "You know what I mean." He said.

"Anyways…" Lightning said, trying to forget the mental image that appeared in his head that made him desperately want to bleach his brain.

"You ready?" Sally asked, putting a hand on her friends shoulder.

"I don't think so." Emily said, throwing the scissors down.

"C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut..." Lightning chanted.

"Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut...!" Everyone cheered as Emily bravely took the scissors and cut up some credit cards.

"Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!" Maria said as she hugged her friend.

"Never in a million years did I think I would be encouraging someone to cut…" Lightning said in a blank tone as his friends looked at each other.

"This doesn't leave the apartment." Chick said with a grin. "And that includes Facebook, Facesco!" He shouted as he saw his Italian friend reach for his iPhone.

"Facesco?" Francesco said with a raised eyebrow, "Is that the best you could come up with?"

"I could have gone with Francebook." Chick said.

* * *

**~Later that Night~**

* * *

"Well, that's it." Emily said as she cut up her last credit card and plopped down on the couch.

"You gonna crash on the couch?" Maria asked Lightning.

"No. No, I gotta go home sometime." Lightning said.

"Will you be okay?" Sally asked him.

"Yeah." Lightning said in a monotone.

"Well, I'm gonna, I don't feel like hailing a cab at this hour." Sally said as she plopped down on the couch. She looked down at the floor and spotted something shiny.

Sally shouted, "Hey Maria, look what I just found on the floor."

"What?" Maria asked, smiling. Sally held up the shiny object that displayed the current time.

"That's Paul's watch." Maria said, a devious smile on her face.

"You just put it back where you found it." Maria said in a deathly tone.

Sally gave her sister a look before slowly setting down the watch and backing away slowly.

"Oh boy. Alright." Maria said, jumping up and down and clapping her hands with glee.

"Goodnight, everybody." She said before jumping on top of the watch, the sound of breaking metal filling the room as she continued to stomp on it.

"Well, I'm gonna head to bed, too." Emily said, leaving Sally and Lightning alone in the living room.

"Yummy." Lightning said as he spotted a cookie on the table. He reached forward for it at the same time as Sally, their hands touching. "Oh, no-"

"Sorry-" Sally said, a blush decorating her face.

"No no no, go-" Lightning said, retracting his hand.

"No, you have it, really, I don't want it-" Sally said as she too retracted her hand.

"Split it?" Lightning suggested.

"Yea, Okay." Sally agreed, blinking fast.

"Okay." Lightning said as he carefully cut it in half. He gave one to Sally and they mocked cheers with the cookie before taking a bite out of it.

"You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you." Lightning said with a chuckle.

"I knew." Sally said with a chuckle.

"You did!" Lightning exclaimed, almost choking on his cookie as Sally nodded her head.

"Oh... I always figured you just thought I was Thunder's geeky older brother."

"I did." Sally said.

"Oh." Lightning said as he finished his cookie, "Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?" Lightning asked, trying very hard not to stutter.

"Yeah, maybe..." Sally said with a smile.

"Okay... okay, maybe I will..." Lightning said.

They continued to eat their cookie in silence. When they were both done, Lightning stood up.

"Goodnight." Lightning said.

"Goodnight." Sally said getting up and heading to the bathroom to change into a pair of pajamas that Maria had given her earlier.

Lightning walked to the kitchen and opened a drawer.

"See ya..." Maria said, having walked into the room to say goodbye to Lightning. "Wai-wait, what are you doing?" She asked her friend.

"I just grabbed a spoon." Lightning said as he pulled a spoon out of her drawer and walked out the door. Maria stood there with a What The Fuck look on her face.

Lightning was sitting in his apartment, looking though his Senior Year scrapbook, recalling all the memories of that Senior Year.

He laughed at all the jokes that they had pulled on each other and the student body.

Just then, there was a knock on his door, he got up and opened the door, seeing his twin sister.

Thunder was tall like her brother, with a curly mess of flaming red hair. She had her brothers mesmerizing blue orbs and she was still clad in the uniform that she wore for work.

"Hey, sis." Lightning said, stepping out of the way for his sister to enter.

"Hey, bro." Thunder replied.

"I see your back from your vacation." Lightning replied as she walked to the living room and plopping down on the red plush sofa. "Coke?" He asked as she nodded her head. Lightning headed to the fridge to get two cokes for them.

"So, I heard about you and Carla, bro, that sucks." Thunder said after she took a sip. "You know, I always suspected it. She always stared at me whenever I was in the same room as her. But I thought it was because she was trying to find some difference between us." It was common knowledge among everyone that the McQueen twins were alike in almost every thing to the point that it was kinda scary.

Unlike the Carrera twin, the McQueen twins would always get mixed up. In high school, Thunder had hit her rebellious stage, and cut her hair so that it looked like her brothers. Needless to say, if it weren't for the fact that Thunder had boobs, the two would still be mistaken for one another.

"You know, that's what I thought too." Lightning said, taking a sip of his coke and relaxing a bit as the cool liquid flew down his throat and into his stomach.

"So, Thunder, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on vacation with Carter?" he asked.

"We broke up." Thunder said, "Caught him cheating on me…" She replied. "With a guy."

"Well, guess the McQueen's are not having a good track record when it comes to dating." Lightning said.

"I'll drink some coke to that." Thunder said as the two siblings clanked cans and took a slug of coke.

"Anyways. Mom and dad are coming to visit." Thunder said, "I need your help, mom and dad think I'm living with Maria. Maria knows that's what I told them."

"Okay, and how does this involve me?" Lightning asked, eying his sister up and down, looking for some body pose she had that would reveal to him the answer to his question.

"I need your help to move things from my room to Maria's."

"Why can't you just tell Mom and Dad that you're not living with Maria?" Lightning asked his sister.

"Are you gonna help me or not!?" Thunder demanded as Lightning through his hands up in defeat.

"Good." Thunder said with a triumphant grin, "Now lets get some stuff packed."

"So why did you tell them you were living with Maria?" Lightning asked her again.

"Because, we were roommates in College and they kept going on how I'd be living alone in the city and I got tired of it. So I just blurted out to them that I would be living with Maria and Sally."

"So, why can't you just tell them your not?" Lightning asked.

"How about I just tell them that the reason your divorced already is because your wife was gay." Thunder retorted.

Lightning stuck out his tongue at his sister. This was gonna be a long day.

* * *

**Here's to the end of chapter 2! I hope you all enjoyed it! **

**Know here are some excerpts from the next chapter:**

_**So, how ya doin, Emily?**_

"_**I'm pregnant. And you're the father."**_

_**So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work? Y'know, with us? Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?**_

"_**Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow."**_

"_**My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-"**_

"_**Ugly Naked Guy got a Treadmill!**_

"_**I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise."**_

"_**When did it get so complicated?"**_

"_**Now, Thunder, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne..."**_

"_**That opens my cervix."**_

**So, are your minds being blown? Do you want to know what happens next? Can I see 6 reviews? Pwease? And if you do review, you'll get an exert from the next chapter!**

**You and I, we're more than just friends. We're like a really small gang.**

**~Iron Morgan**


	3. TOW Is Going To Be A Father Part 1

**Welcome to the next chapter! **

**We have some new character Profiles!**

**Morgan McLean: Morgan is one of Lightning's co-workers as well as Carla's cousin.**

**Carla McCormick: Carla is Lightning's Lesbian ex-wife.**

**Sasha Featherstonehaugh: Sasha is Carla's wife. She is famous for having the longest last name that is in the Guinness World Record**

**And thats about it. Not as detailed as the first chapter but I'm really not feeling well.**

**As is extremely obvious from the title of the chapter, someone is pregnant! Lets find out who!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters that belong to Disney and Pixar, Mere, or Pancake.**

**Words: 2,025**

* * *

"What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it." Maria said as the gang sat at their seat in Central Perk

"Yeah, right!" Francesco said as the females glared at him "...Wait, You're serious?" Francesco asked, his eyes wide.

"Oh, yeah!" Thunder said.

"Everything you need to know is in that first kiss." Emily added on.

"Absolutely." Maria agreed.

"Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know?" Chick said as he thought for a moment, "I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out."

"Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket." Francesco said, adding on to what Chick had said.

"The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake." Chick said, further arguing his point.

"Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone." Thunder said as she crossed her legs with a smirk on her lips.

Francesco leaned into Chick, "Are we still talking about sex?" he asked as Chick gave him the thumbs up sign.

* * *

**~With Lightning~**

* * *

Lightning was currently at work, talking his co-worker, Morgan, while they set up the displays of cavemen at the Museum that Lightning worked at.

"No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?" Lightning asked, indicating the cavewomen that stood next to him.

"Well, she has issues." Morgan replied with a roll of her hazel eyes.

"Does she, now?" Lightning asked, arms closed.

"He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!" Morgan exclaimed, pointing to the caveman that stood next to her.

"Morgan, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?" Lightning corrected.

Morgan narrowed her eyes then broke out into a smile, "Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife?" She said in an all knowing voice.

Lightning spun around, spotting Carla. She had flowing blonde hair and gray eyes. He quickly turned around to a smirking Morgan.

"No. No." Lightning said, quickly looking over his shoulder to see Carla waving.

"Yes, it is, I think I would know what my cousin looked like. Carla! Hi!" Morgan said, going up to the window and waving to her cousin.

"Okay, okay, yes, your right.." Lightning said, giving a reluctant wave to his ex-wife.

"As always." Morgan said with a smirk.

"How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age." Lightning suggested.

"Can't I just stay here?" Morgan asked.

"Haha. No." Lightning said.

"Fine, besides, I already know why she's here." Morgan said before walking to the Ice Age exhibit before Lightning could get out another word.

"Over here, Carla." Lightning said, indicating the narrow hallway that would lead into the exhibit. Lightning gave her an awkward hug as she returned it.

"Hi." Lightning said as he bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck.

"So." Carla said.

"You look great." He said, looking her up and down, "I, uh... I hate that."

"Thanks. Sorry. You look good too."

"Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect..." he said, indicating the cave people around him. "So what's new? Still, uh..." he drifted off.

"A lesbian?" Carla suggested.

"Well... you never know." Lightning said as, "So. How's, um.. how's the family?

"There good." Carla said, "But, um…" Carla said, drifting off.

"Why- why are you here, Carla?" Lightning asked her.

Carla bit her lip and took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant." She said.

"Pregnant?!"

* * *

**~At Maria and 'Thunder's' Apartment~**

* * *

Thunder was currently in the kitchen, taking out the lasagna she made from the oven. "Thanks again, Maria." Thunder said as Maria finished setting up the table.

"No problem, Thunder. But sooner or later, they're gonna find out your not living with me." Maria replied as she set down the last fork.

"I know, but until then, thanks again." Thunder said as she walked over to Francesco.

"Are you through with that?" She asked, taking the can of coke out of her friend's hand and walking away.

"Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down a little." Francesco replied with a roll of his eyes.

"Whose little ball of paper is this?!" Thunder asked, pointing to a balled up paper.

Chick cringed before confessing, "Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realized I didn't need it, so I balled it up and..." Thunder gave him her famous death glare. "...now I wish I was dead." Chick finished up as Thunder came up to him and started beating a pillow.

Sally spoke to Maria, "She's already fluffed that pillow... Thunder, you know, you've already fluffed that…" Thunder looked up and glared, "…but, it's fine!" She said, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Ay oh! Baby lets go!" Francesco sang.

Thunder breathed out heavily, "Look, I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have." She said.

"Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow." Chick said.

"Tunder-" Sally said.

"What!?" Thunder said looking up from the pillow.

"Hi! Um, Thunder, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way." Sally said.

"Yeah, calm down. You don't see Lightning getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come." Francesco said.

"That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Lightning can do no wrong. You see, he's the Prince. Apparently they thought that it was only Lightning, then I come out right after him!" Thunder said as she made the final touch on the pillow.

Chick got up and looked at the window, "Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!"

"What?" Everyone asked.

"Ugly Naked Guy got a Treadmill!" He shouted, pointing out the window to the apartment across the alley.

"Eeaagh!" Everyone shouted as they covered their eyes.

"No, no, no, no." Emily said, rushing into the living room, as she began over turning over all of the pillows as Thunder huffed.

"Has anybody seen my engagement ring?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, it's beautiful." Sally said, jealousy in her voice.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God..." Emily said as she searched under the couch.

"That's what she said." Francesco said, high fiving Chick.

"Oh, I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Miles! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder..." She complained as she continued to search for it.

"Easy Emi, we'll find it." Thunder said, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder, "Won't we?!" She shouted, looking at the boys.

"Oh! Yeah!" The two boys shouted out as they began to search for the ring.

"Okay, it's a silver band with a diamond surrounded by blue sapphires…" Emily started going off.

"Any diamond ring we find we'll run it by you." Thunder said as they continued to look around.

"Alright, where did ya have it on last?" Francesco asked.

"Doy! Probably right before she lost it!" Thunder said in a sarcastic voice.

"You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days..." Chick said as Francesco said.

"Okay, I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with..." She said while walking into the kitchen.

"...Dinah?" Chick said, singing the line of that song. **(You know, Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah. Strummin on the old banjo!)**

"Strummin on the old banjo?" Francesco said, earning a high five from Chick.

Emily was about to turn around and glare at them when her eyes met the cooling Lasagna dish. "Ohhhhh, don't be mad..." She said to Thunder.

"You didn't." Thunder said, her eyes wide as she stared down at the lasagna dish.

"Oh, I am sorry..." Emily said.

"I gave you one job!" Thunder shouted as she lifted the dish up in the air to examine the bottom of the Tupperware.

"Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!" Emily said, trying to have her friend look at the bright side.

"Now-a, Thudner, you know-a that's-a not how-a you look for-a an engagement ring-a in a lasagna-a." Francesco said staring down at the dish.

"I just... can't do it." Thunder said, stepping away from the dish.

"Chick?" Francesco said, "We're going in." And with that, the two boys started to dig through the lasagna. Just then, there was a knock at the door and Thunder walked over to open the door, revealing her brother.

"...Hi." Lightning said in a monotone voice.

"Wow. That is not a happy hi." Thunder said as her brother walked in.

"Carla's pregnant." He told her.

Everyone but Chick's eyes flittered up, stunned, "Ooh! I found it!" Chick shouted as he held up the ring.

"W-w-wh-... wha-... w-w-w-..." Thunder said, blinking rapidly.

"Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now." He said as he plops down on the couch.

"Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Thun?" Chick said

"Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?" Sally asked.

"Well, Carla says she and Sasha want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me." Lightning said.

"What does she mean by 'involved'?" Thunder asked her brother.

"I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done." Chick said trying to cheer his friend up.

"Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow." Lightning continued on.

"So what are you gonna do?" Rachel asked, sitting down next to

"I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father." Lightning said as he stared off into space.

Thunder heard the sound of munching and turned around to see Francesco eating the Lasagna with his hands.

"...Well, this is still ruined, right?" he asked as Thunder groaned.

* * *

**I know, I know. It's short. I was having writers block. I have to re-watch the episode to get my mojo (hahaha) back or something.**

**Can I please get at least 15 reviews? Pweaty Pwease with organic fuel on top?**

**You got a friend in me,**

**~Iron Morgan**


	4. TOW Is Going To Be A Father Part 2

**Hey, Once again, Sorry for the short chapter last time, this one is gonna be longer to show my apology.**

**Oh, and in case your wondering TOW is short for a few things.**

**The One Where, The One Who, The One With, or The One When. So for this chapter's title, it would be The One Who (Is Going To Be A Father). You get it?**

**Anyways, lets start on the chapter, shall we?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable characters that are the property of Pixar Animation Studios, The Walt Disney Company, MereMcQueen, or Pancake. I only own my own characters.**

**See, I promised you guys a longer chapter due to the short one I gave you last time since I was sick.**

**Words: 4,422**

* * *

"Oh God, mom and dad are gonna be here any minute!" Thunder said as she placed the snacks on the table and continued to beat the pillows. Maria and Emily had already left, going to Chick and Francesco's apartment with Sally.

"It's gonna be fine, Thunder." Lightning said, taking ahold of his sister's shoulders and shaking her.

"You should be talking!" Thunder snapped. "Mom called me earlier today after hearing about yours and Carla's divorce. She was hysterical saying that she'd never have grandchildren." Thunder said.

"Well, she's in luck." Lightning said.

"Speaking of that, are you gonna tell them about that whole 'Carla's pregnant and she's also a lesbian,' thing?" Thunder asked as she pounded the pillow again.

"I'm going to have to tell them at some point in time." Lightning replied as his sister opened her mouth, "Just not tonight." He added in.

"Well, if you don't tell them, then I will!" Thunder said as she walked to the kitchen to stir the spaghetti.

"Well, if you tell them, then I'll tell them that you're not living with Maria!" Lightning shouted back as the door buzzed. Lightning walked over to it and pressed the talk button.

"Hello?" he spoke.

"Lightning, it's your parents." Came the voice of Lizia.

"Hey mom, hey dad. I'll buzz you guys up right away." Lightning said as he pressed the button.

Thunder took a deep breath, "Show time." She said as she prepared herself to open the door to her parents.

* * *

~Break~

* * *

The table was set and Lawrence and Lizia McQueen were currently sitting on the sofa, chatting to their two children.

"Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you." Lizia said to her daughter as she took a bite at one of the snacks that Thunder had put out. "Mmm! What's that curry taste?"

"Curry." Thunder replied.

"Mmmm!" Lizia replied as she took another bite out of the snack. "Lightning, what do you think?" Lizia asked, staring at her son.

"I- I think they're great! I, I really do." Lightning said, as he took a bite out of the snack. Hoping that his mother wouldn't begin to pry into his failed love life.

Lawrence spoke to Lightning, "Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?" He asked.

Lizia spoke, "They all had a thing for him." She said with a wave of her hand as Thunder scowled.

"Aw, Mom..." Lightning said with a blush on his face.

Thunder spoke, wanting to get the conversation away from Lightning, "I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?" she asked.

Lizia turned to face her daughter, "Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-" She said but Thunder cut her off.

"No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant." Thunder corrected her mother.

"Well, they don't have to know that..." She said as she began to beat the pillows and Thunders shot her brother a glare.

"Light, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please?" Thunder asked as she walked to the kitchen.

"Yeah." Lightning replied as he followed his sister

"I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me." Thunder whispered angrily to her brother as Lizia spoke, breaking them of any more conversation they could have mustered.

"Oh, we're having spaghetti! That's... easy." Lizia said in a blank tone.

"We were going to have lasagna, but it was murdered by Lightning's friend." She replied with an evil smile on her lips.

"Why did that happen?" Lawrence asked.

Lightning smiled as he found his payback opportunity time, "Thunder's friend, Emily, had accidently baked her engagement ring into the lasagna and the Chick and Francesco had to go hunting for it." Lightning said.

"Is that the same Emily who left her fiancé at the alter?" Lizia asked.

"Yup." Lightning said as his sister punched him in the arm. Lightning bit his lip and waited till Thunder's back was turned until he rubbed his arm, mouthing 'Ow ' as he did so.

"Dinner's ready." Thunder said, as she brought the spaghetti to the table.

* * *

~Break~

* * *

"What that Emily did to her life... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well." Lizia spoke as she took a fork full of spaghetti.

"I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding..." Lawrence said, "but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!"

"Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar..." Lizia spoke, looking at her daughter.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Thunder asked, trying to keep her voice calm.

"Nothing! It's an expression." Lizia said, realizing her mistake as she darted her blue eyes down and tossed a lock of red hair behind her back.

"No, it's not." Thunder said, setting down her silver ware, preparing for the inevitable fight that was to break loose.

"Don't listen to your mother." Lawrence said, "You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and do your puzzles..." Lawrence said, drifting off. It was one thing to fight with her mother, but Thunder hated it when her Father would try to intervene between their squabbles.

* * *

~Break!~

* * *

"Look, there are people like Lightning who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published." Lizia said. "Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer."

* * *

~Break!~

* * *

"...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God that Our Little Thunder doesn't seem to have that problem." Lizia said.

"So, Light," Thunder said with a smile, wanting to get the attention away from her, "what's going on with you? Any stories?" She asked as she dug her elbow into his hand, "No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?"

Lightning glared at her and pulled away his hand, "Okay! Okay." He said, looking at his parents, "Look, I, uh- I realize you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carla and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carla's a lesbian. She's eloped with a woman named Sasha. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Sasha are going to raise the baby." Lightning spewed out as his parents stared at their son in awe with their mouths hanging open.

Lizia was the one to break the silence as she turned to her daughter, "And you knew about this?!" she asked as Thunder sighed. She just couldn't win, could she?

* * *

**~Break~**

* * *

The gang was currently at Central Perk, as always.

"Your folks are really that bad, huh?" Chick asked.

"Well, you know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done." Lightning said.

"Boy, I know that they say you can't change your parents... boy, if you could," Thunder said as she looked at Lightning, "I'd want yours."

"Must pee." Lightning said, getting up from his spot on the chair.

Just then, Sally and Emily walked up to them, "All right, you guys, we kinda gotta clean up now." Sally said as the group nodded and began walking out of the coffee shop.

"The lights, please." Sally shouted as Francesco turned off the lights and Sally left to go get a broom while Emily began wiping off the tables. Just then, Lightning came back from the bathroom and stared at the darkened, empty coffee shop.

"...How long was I in there?" Lightning asked.

"We're just cleaning up." Emily said as she put up the chairs.

"D'ya.. uh.. d'ya need any help?" He asked, as Sally began sweeping behind the counter.

"Uh.. okay, sure! Thanks!" She said, handing him the cloth as she cleaned up left over coffee mugs.

"Anyway.. um..So, you- uh- you nervous about Miles tomorrow?" He asked her.

"Oh…a little…" Emily replied as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"Mm-hmm…" Lightning replied.

"A lot." Emily said.

"Thought so." Lightning replied

"So, got any advice? You know, as someone who's recently been dumped?" Emily asked.

"Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, you know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, you know, uh, hey!" Lightning said with a snap of his fingers, causing both girls to jump, "I'll go down there, and I'll give Miles back his ring, and you can go with Carla and Sasha to the OB/GYN!" He said in a hopeful voice.

"Oh, right you got Carla tomorrow… When did it get so complicated?" Emily asked as Sally came over to sweep in the main part of the café.

"Beats me."

"Remember when we were in high school together?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, those were the good old days." Lightning said.

"I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet someone, fall in love- and that'd be it?" She asked as Lightning stared at Sally, her ebony hair held up in a messy bun as she worked. "...Lightning?" She asked.

"Yea." Lightning replied, snapping out of his daze.

"Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here…" She said as she plopped onto the couch.

"Join the club." Lightning said as his eyes drifted over to Sally, who smiled up at him with a wink. Lightning smiled back as he continued to chat with the two girls."

* * *

~Break~

* * *

Lightning quickly ran into the doctor's officer, "Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work. There was this big dinosaur.. thing.. anyway." He said as he stared at his ex-wife who was currently clad in a hospital gown sitting on the chair-bench thingies…I don't really know the name of those things. Let's just continue on with this.

Just then, the door opened behind Lightning and Sasha entered holding a cup.

"Light, you remember Sasha." Carla said as she smiled at her wife.

"How could I forget?" Lightning said, forcing a smile.

"Lightning." Sasha said as she extended her hand for him to shake.

"Hello, Sasha." Lightning replied as he shook her hand. He turned to Carla ,"Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?"

"Dr. Oberman." Carla said.

"...Dr. Oberman." Lightning finished his sentence, "Okay. And is he-"

"She." Sasha corrected

"-she, of course, she- uh- familiar with our.. special situation?" Lightning said, not knowing exactly how to describe their situation.

"Yes, and she's very supportive." Carla assured her ex.

"Okay, that's great." Lightning said as Sasha held out her drink, "Oh, no thank you…" he said but shut up when she gave it to Carla.

"Thanks." She said.

Lightning, not wanting to make things any more awkward, examined the medical instruments that laid on the table. He picked one up and opened it up and closed it, "Quack, quack.."

"Light?" Carla said, "That opens my cervix." She said as Lightning dropped the tool in horror.

* * *

**~With Emily and Miles~**

* * *

Emily slowly opened the office door, "Miles?" She said as her ex-fiancé turned around.

"C'mon in." He said.

"…Are you sure?" She asked as she slowly entered the office.

"Yeah! It's fine, it's fine. Robbie's gonna be here for hours." He said, motioning the tween boy who sat in the chair.

"Huh?!" Robbie asked, staring wide eyed at Miles.

"So, how ya doin?" Miles asked as he went back to work on Robbie's mouth.

"I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great!" Emily said.

"Yeah, well.." Miles said but was cut off by the intercom.

"Dr. Axelrod, Jason Greenstein's gagging." Said the female voice.

Miles spoke, "Be right there." He looked over to Robbie and Emily, "Be back in a sec." he said as he exited the room.

Robbie just stared at Emily as the awkwardness set in.

"I dumped him." Emily told the tween.

"Okay." Robbie replied with a roll of his eyes.

* * *

~Back with Light, Carla, and Sasha~

* * *

Lightning spoke, "So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work? Y'know, with us? Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?"

Carla raised an eyebrow at her ex, "Give me a 'for instance'."

"Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay, how about with the, uh, with the baby's name?" Lightning suggested.

"Marlon-" Carla replied.

"Marlon?!" Lightning asked in a horror struck voice.

"-if it's a boy, Minnie if it's a girl." Carla finished.

"...As in Mouse?" Lightning asked.

"As in my grandmother." Carla retorted.

"Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um.. how about Terra?" Lightning asked her.

"Terra.." Carla said as the name rolled off of her tongue.

"We agreed on Minnie." Sasha said.

"'S'funny, um, uh, we agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together." He said, motioning to him and Carla, "Things change, roll with the punches." He said then turned to Carla, "I believe Terra is on the table?" He asked.

* * *

~With Emily and Miles~

* * *

Emily was currently looking in the circular mirror, fixing her make-up just a Miles walked in.

"Sorry about that. So. What have you been up to?" Miles asked as he sat back down at his chair.

"Oh, not much. I-I got a job." Emily said.

"Oh, that's great." Miles said as he walked past her to grab something off of the table.

"Why are- why are you so tanned?" Emily asked.

"Oh, I, uh- I went to Italy." Miles said, as he navigated around Emily.

"Oh no. You went on our honeymoon alone?" She asked in a sympathetic voice.

"No. I went with, uh.. Now, this may hurt."

"Me?!" Robbie shouted out in alarm.

"No! Not you, Robbie." Miles said as he turned towards Emily, "I went with Kori."

"Kori?! My maid of honour, Kori?!" Emily said, her voice rising.

"Yeah, well, uh, we're kind of a thing now." Miles confessed.

"Oh! Well, um…" She stopped as she saw his head, she grabbed it and examined it closely, "You've got plugs!" she cried out.

"Careful! They haven't quite taken yet." Miles said as he squirmed out of her grasp.

"And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!" Emily shouted.

"Not for her. Listen, I really wanted to thank you." Miles said as he grabbed her hands.

"Okay…" Sally said, not knowing where this was going.

"See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist." Miles said.

"Wow." Emily said, not knowing how to respond to what he had said.

"You know, you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We weren't happy. But with Kori, now I'm happy. Spit."

"What?" Emily asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Me." Robbie said as he leaned over and spat in the sink.

"Anyway, um," She said as she dug in her purse for the ring, "I guess this belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me." She said as she handed it to him.

Miles smiled and took it, "Well, thank you for giving it back."

The two smiled at each other for a moment.

"Hello?!" Robbie said, wanting nothing more than to get out this soap opera like scenario he was in.

* * *

~With Lightning, Carla, and Sasha~

* * *

Sasha shouted, "Oh, please! What's wrong with Princess?" She asked.

"Princess McQueen? I don't think so." Lightning said as he crossed his arms.

"Hello? It's not gonna be Princess McQueen." Carla said.

"Thank you!" Lightning shouted.

"No, I mean it's not McQueen." Carla said.

"What, it's gonna be Princess McCormick?" Lightning asked.

Carla bit her lip, "No, actually, um, we talked about Princess McCormick- Featherstonehaugh." Carla said.

"Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?" Lightning asked, pointing a finger at the wife snatcher.

"It's my baby too." Sasha said.

"Oh, 's'funny, really? Um, I don't remember you making any sperm." Lightning said.

"Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!" Sasha retorted.

"All right, you two, stop it!" Carla shouted

"No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I'm in there too." Lightning said.

"Lightning." Carla started, "You're not actually suggesting Princess McCormick- Featherstonehaugh-McQueen? 'Cause I think that borders on child abuse." Carla said.

"Of course not, I'm... suggesting McQueen-McCormick- Featherstonehaugh." Lightning said, hiding a smirk.

"Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her McQueen, then he gets his way!" Sasha protested.

"My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do this." Lightning said, throwing his hands up in the air.

Just then, Dr. Oberman entered, "Knock knock!" How are we today? Any nausea?" She asked.

"Yeah, a little." Replied all three adults.

"Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing." She said as she turned to Carla. "Uh, lie back.." she said as she got the instruments ready.

"You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go. I don't- I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now." Just then, the sound of a heartbeat filled the room and Lightning stopped dead in his tracks. He slowly navigated over to where the sonogram was showing the baby.

"Oh my God." Lightning sighed.

"Look at that." Sasha said, as she grabbed Carla's hand.

"I know." Carla sighed.

* * *

**~At Maria and Emily's Apartment~**

* * *

"Well? Isn't that amazing?" Lightning said, they were all seated in the living room, watching the sonogram.

"What are we supposed to be seeing here?" Francesco asked.

"I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise." Chick said.

"You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato." Maria said, cocking her head to the side..

"Then don't do that, alright?" Lightning said.

"Okay!" Maria said.

Lightning walked over to his sister, "So Thunder, whaddya think?" He asked as he draped an arm around his twin.

"Mm-hmm." Thunder said as she began to well up.

"Wh- are you welling up?" Lightning asked his sister.

"No." Thunder replied, blinking her eyes rapidly.

"You are, you're welling up." Lightning said, pointing a finger at her.

"Am not!" Thunder replied, as she crossed her arms.

"You're gonna be an aunt." Lightning said to her.

Thunder shoved her brother off of her, "Oh shut up!" She said.

Everyone's attention quickly turned to Emily, who was on the phone.

"Hi, Kori. Hi, it-it's Emily. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Miles today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Kor, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose." She shouted as she slammed down the phone and looked at the gang who was staring at her.

"Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel SO much better now." Emily said as they're was a knock at the door.

"I got it." Lightning said as he walked to the door, opening it to reveal Mater and Taylor.

"Hey there, buddy! Guess whose moving to New York with her daddy?" Mater said as everyone except for Emily ran up to the door.

"Oh, Taylor! Look at you!" Sally said as she enveloped the 16-year-old girl in a tight hug. Taylor had flowing mahogany hair and a mix of cobalt and aqua blue eyes.

"Hey, whose pregnant?" Mater asked as his eyes eyed the sonogram playing on the TV, "Chick?" Mater asked as everyone burst out laughing.

"Actually Mater, It's Carla. She's expecting." Thunder said.

"But I thought she was a lesbian?" Mater asked as Taylor was still being tossed around from honorary aunt to honorary uncle to honorary aunt.

"Turns out I got her pregnant before the divorce." Lightning said in a defeated tone.

"That's gotta suck bud. But if youse need any help, you can just ask me." Mater said as Taylor was finally returned to him. He slung an arm around his daughter. "I did a good job raisin' ya, didn't I, Tay?" Mater asked his daughter.

"Of course, Daddy." Taylor said.

"Well, I'll make sure to keep that in mind." Lightning asked as he spotted Taylor's guitar.

"You still playing?" He asked her with a sarcastic smile.

"Of course, Uncle Lightning." Taylor said, "I've even began writing my own songs. One day I'm gonna be famous." She said.

"Can we hear one?" Sally asked the teen.

"Of course, Aunt Sally." Taylor said as she grabbed the case and walked into the living room as everyone took a seat around Taylor.

She carefully pulled out the old guitar that belonged to her mother. One of the few things that she knew she had in common with her. "I wrote this when we were reading about Romeo and Juliet in English. We had to do a project so I wrote a song.."

She started to strum out a few chords and then began to sing in her southern bell voice

_We were both young when I first saw you_

_I close my eyes_

_And the flashback starts_

_I'm standing there_

_On a balcony in summer air_

_See the lights_

_See the party, the ball gowns_

_I see you make your way through the crowd_

_And say hello, little did I know_

_That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles_

_And my daddy said stay away from Juliet_

_And I was crying on the staircase_

_Begging you please don't go, and I said_

_Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone_

_I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run_

_You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess_

_It's a love story baby just say yes_

_So I sneak out to the garden to see you_

_We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew_

_So close your eyes_

_Escape this town for a little while_

_'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter_

_And my daddy said stay away from Juliet_

_But you were everything to me_

_I was begging you please don't go and I said_

_Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone_

_I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run_

_You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess_

_It's a love story baby just say yes_

_Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel_

_This love is difficult, but it's real_

_Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess_

_It's a love story baby just say yes_

_Oh oh_

_I got tired of waiting_

_Wondering if you were ever coming around_

_My faith in you is fading_

_When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said_

_Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone_

_I keep waiting for you but you never come_

_Is this in my head? I don't know what to think_

_He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring_

_And said, marry me Juliet_

_You'll never have to be alone_

_I love you and that's all I really know_

_I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress_

_It's a love story baby just say yes_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh_

_'Cause we were both young when I first saw you_

Taylor finished as everyone broke out into applause.

"That was brilliant, Taylor." Maria said as she hugged her.

"Thanks." Taylor said with a big smile.

* * *

**They're you go, folks! And yes, Taylor is basically Taylor Swift. I'm surprised no one caught onto it. And that song is not mine, it belongs to the wonderful Taylor Swift!**

**The next chapter will be an original one, so they would be nothing for me to grasp on from the show. So the update will be a long time as I work out the humor and drama into it.**

**Please review, it would really make my idea! Well, I should get going, I have Midterms this week (Shoot me, please)**

**Friends are the gateway to life,**

**~Iron Morgan**


	5. TOW The Teenage Daughter

**The One With The Teenage Daughter**

**Welcome to another installment of this epic story! I've had this bloody story complete for like a month. but because Mere is sick, she begged me to update. To which I obliged.**

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Cars, or any of the other characters.**

**Words: 1,810**

* * *

"Has anyone realized that all of our names have something to do with cars?" Voiced Chick, sitting in his usual chair.

His friends looked at him from over their coffee mugs.

"No we don't." Sally said shaking her head, her ebony strands flying about.'

"Really, CARrera." Chick said, "And isn't that also the name of a type of Porsche?" he asked.

"You forget, Chick, our last name is actually Weathers…" Maria said, "…Who was a racecar driver." She said, her voice falling into a defeated tone.

"Ride, Sally, ride." Lightning sang. Sally shout him a death glare and he quietly sipped his coffee.

"What about McQueen?" Lightning asked, "That has nothing to do with cars."

"I think McQueen was the name of a famous racecar driver back in the day." Chick said.

"Turbo?" Emily said.

"That's simple enough, turbo is a car term. And also when a video game character in a racing game decided to start taking over other games." Chick said, making a reference to Wreck-It-Ralph which came out when they were 17.

"What about Mater?" Came the question from Taylor. She was sitting on the couch next to Saly.

"It's like Tow Mater, but without the tow." Chick said in plain voice.

"What about Hicks?" Mater challenged.

"Still haven't figured it out." Chick said as Taylor pulled out her phone. She quickly searched something online and laughed.

"Hey, guys, check this out." She said as she began to read off her phone.

"A Hick, May or may not be intelligent or somewhat educated. Doesn't go to KKK meetings. May or may not be imbreeded. Wears overalls and straw hats. Doesn't always wear shoes. Are lucky to have a computer. Might be seen chewing on a hay straw. Doesn't drink beer; drinks moonshine. Doesn't live in trailer parks like rednecks; quite a few live in suburban houses, but most live in the southern foothills, Appalachia, and vast farmlands throughout the Midwest. Is less racist and bigoted towards differences, but is still serious about defending whatever their particular way of life may be.!Are usually more hospitable, especially in the mountains of the South, or the massed farms of the Midwest. Aren't always as violent as rednecks." Taylor read as everyone laughed.

"That statement is SO untrue!" Chick shouted.

"Oh my god guys, listen to this!" Taylor said as she scrolled down the page, "They hate all sorts of races, but the most hardcore hicks will hate all races. The hick is generally a very embred specimen. Do not get into a fight with one at a rodeo, as you will soon find your self unconsious in the bull pen. If you must, fight one in the ghetto where at least the african-american people can grab a gun and help."

Their laughs echoed throughout the coffee shop and the costumers gave strange looks to the group of people in the back of the shop.

"At least we know the car reference for Chick." Francesco said.

"Does it say anything else?" Sally questioned.

Taylor read from her phone, "A derogatory term used to describe Southerners, People who live in trailer parks, Uncivilized or unsophisticated people, Ignorant people." Taylor read.

"I find this very offensive."' Chick stated.

Taylor laughed, "Funny you should say that. The term "hicks" is an insult and is inappropriate for civil conversation, as many people take offense to the term."

"Since when are we civil?" Lightning imputed.

"It also says Hicks are people who are obbsesed with being ignorant." Taylor read. "Hick is a word to describe a very specific group of low class, southern whites. Hicks are racist, homophobic, stupid as fu...dge" Taylor said, catching herself from cursing in front of her dad. ", and are ALWAYS ignorant ass...they are" she breathed a sigh of relief, another close save. "Christians that will shove their beliefs down your throat whenever they get the chance."

"Anything else, Tay?" Sally asked.

The gang was currently biting their lips as Taylor researched the question. Chick giving hard glares at the brunette teenager.

"There's also something called Hicks Car Works, which is a Railway Museum located in Illinois." Taylor said, "That's it basically." She said in defeat.

"So what about Bernoulli over here?" Lightning asked.

"There is a Daniel Bernoulli, he was a Dutch/Swiss mathematician who published ground-breaking theories on fluid dynamics and the conservation of energy." Taylor recited off the top of her head as everyone raised an eyebrow at her. "I did a report on him for an AP Physics project." Taylor said.

"Speaking of school, shouldn't you be in it right now?" Lightning asked his goddaughter.

"I'm already done. Daddy said I could come to New York only when I finished school. I took a ton of Summer and Online courses that really put me get ahead of everyone else. I even skipped a few grades in middle school." Taylor said.

"I knew my baby girl was smart." Mater said, wrapping an arm around his daughter and giving her a kiss on the side of her forehead. Taylor smiled and rolled her eyes as a chuckle escaped her mouth.

"So, Taylor." Sally said, "Now that your in New York, what are you going to do?"

"Well, I was hoping to get a job as a musician." She said, her guitar leaning on the table in front of her.

"That's perfect! Our performer just left on maternity leave and Drake has been looking for a replacement." Sally said. "You'd get paid minimum wage which is $7.25 an hour. It'll most likely to be during the afternoon period and may extend to a few hours before closing time."

"That sounds good to me." Taylor said as Sally and Emily dragged her to go meet with Derek.

"So, Mater. Any new projects?" Lightning asked. Mater had gone to college for architecture instead of going into the family business, which was operating the family farm. It was quite popular in Radiator Springs and the schools would take a field trip there once a year. After Mater's parents died, his Uncle Frank had taken over the company. He encouraged Mater to come work for the farm after high school. It had been Mater's original plan, that is, until he got Mildred pregnant.

After Mildred skipped town, all Mater wanted to do was provide a better life for his daughter. So he enrolled at the local college with his friends and pursued a degree in Architecture.

He moved from the quiet suburbs to the city with his friends to start his life. He purchased the apartment in the same hall as his friends and spent his weekends with Taylor.

"Not really, bud. Business has been slow." Mater confessed.

"I have an idea." Chick said, "My company wants to build a new building downtown, I'm in charge of the construction. I can hire you."

"No, I wouldn't want to impose..." Mater said as Chick waves his hand off.

"It's fine, Mater, really. What are friends for?" Chick said.

Mater smiled, "Thanks, Chick." He said.

"No problem." Chick said as the girls came back.

"I'm hired!" Taylor squealed.

There was a round of congratulations from the group as Drake walked up to the small stage.

"Hello everybody, I would like to take a moment and formally introduce our newest live entertainment! Taylor Mater!" Taylor walked up to the stage and smiled as the coffee house clapped, well, except for the gang who insisted on hooting out her name.

"I'll be singing you all a little song I wrote, it's called Today was a Fairy Tale.

_Today was a fairytale_

_You were the prince_

_I used to be a damsel in distress_

_You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six_

_Today was a fairytale_

_Today was a fairytale_

_Today was a fairytale_

_I wore a dress_

_You wore a dark grey t-shirt_

_You told me I was pretty_

_When I looked like a mess_

_Today was a fairytale_

_Time slows down_

_Whenever you're around_

_Can you feel this magic in the air?_

_It must have been the way you kissed me_

_Fell in love when I saw you standing there_

_It must have been the way_

_Today was a fairytale_

_It must have been the way_

_Today was a fairytale_

_Today was a fairytale_

_You've got a smile that takes me to another planet_

_Every move you make everything you say is right_

_Today was a fairytale_

_Today was a fairytale_

_All that I can say_

_Is now it's getting so much clearer_

_Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face_

_Today was a fairytale_

_Time slows down_

_Whenever you're around_

_But can you feel this magic in the air?_

_It must have been the way you kissed me_

_Fell in love when I saw you standing there_

_It must have been the way_

_Today was a fairytale_

_It must have been the way_

_Today was a fairytale_

_Time slows down_

_Whenever you're around_

_I can feel my heart_

_It's beating in my chest_

_Did you feel it?_

_I can't put this down_

_But can you feel this magic in the air?_

_It must have been the way you kissed me_

_Fell in love when I saw you standing there_

_It must have been the way_

_But can you feel this magic in the air?_

_It must have been the way you kissed me_

_Fell in love when I saw you standing there_

_It must have been the way_

_Today was a fairytale_

_It must have been the way_

_Today was a fairytale_

_Today was a fairytale_

The coffee house broke out into applause as Taylor blushed. Today was a fairytale.

* * *

**So yea, that's basically it. Not that good of a chapter but at least it's something, right? RIGHT!?**

**Huff...next chapter is another original chapter. I'm also making a change to the Hicks family. Holley is actually about five years older than Taylor. So that means (if my math is correct...) that Chick and Holley are 11 years apart...and I'm making Finn the same age. Sorry if I confused anyone =_=' It's all for plot purposes...**

**So make sure you review, or you will be visited by me at night and you will shit yourself.**

**~Morgan Roma Beilschmidt-Vargas**


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